1 day agovia and source with 1,952 notes



i guess i recorded an ice bucket challenge today after i got my wisdom teeth out ??

This is just….


when u try to tell ur friends a pun


1 day agovia and source with 119,270 notes


tumblr made me a much more tolerant and less judgmental person like my cousin be like “omg look at that bitch eyebrows she drew them damn near in her hairline” and i’m like shrug maybe the bitch wanted to have eyebrows in her hairline you don’t know shit about her life.

2 days agovia and source with 411,529 notes
What's the most illegal thing you ever did? —Anonymous



At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

No mercy.

2 days agovia and source with 154,286 notes


Hey guys you should check out my moms etsy shop. She’s a professional seamstress sewing for 40+ years and sells handmade pillows, bears, eye pillows and lavender sachets.

"I already saw that on Tumblr."

—literally everything (via beccaliving)
3 days agovia and source with 592,498 notes
3 days agovia and source with 957,639 notes



Nicki has no chill

Nicki cold she aint have to do him like that

3 days agovia and source with 81,628 notes


do you ever just start watching a show because you hear there are lesbians